3LFPOD 106: How to Be Good (It's Not the Same as Being Nice)

Have you ever swallowed a complaint, agreed to something you didn't want to do, or smiled politely when what you really wanted to say was, "Actually, no thanks"? We've all been there. But when does being nice stop being nice to yourself?

This week, we're talking about the difference between being nice and being kind — and why the two aren't always the same thing. Because sometimes, being a good person means having an uncomfortable conversation, setting a boundary, or being willing to disappoint someone.

What's The Buzz?

There's plenty to catch up on this week! We discuss the news surrounding Christina Applegate and her ongoing health struggles following a reported misdiagnosis, and reflect on how difficult it can be to get answers when something isn't right with your health. 

On a lighter note, we're talking TV! The Diplomat is back, Nobody Wants This returns for another season, and we're sharing our very different opinions about The Love Hypothesis. Plus, if you haven't watched Slow Horses, consider this your official recommendation.

And then there's Kristen Bell, who shared a story about struggling to speak up when an airline attendant repeatedly got her coffee order wrong. It's a small moment, but one that opens up a much bigger conversation about people-pleasing and why asking for what you want can feel so uncomfortable.

Let's Jump In

Inspired by Matthew McConaughey's distinction between a nice guy and a good man, we start asking ourselves: Are we teaching our kids to be nice, or are we teaching them to be kind?

The sisters get into the difference between basic politeness and genuine kindness — and why kindness sometimes takes courage. We talk about toxic friendships, tough love, telling the truth without being cruel, and the challenge of standing up for yourself without hurting someone else's feelings.

What do you do when a friend says something unkind? Is it better to speak up or let it go? And how do you know when you're being considerate versus simply trying to keep everyone happy?

We also talk about boundaries, family disagreements, and the importance of being able to hold your own values while respecting someone else's right to see things differently.

Here's the takeaway: Kindness isn't always about saying the right thing or making everyone happy. Sometimes it's telling the truth with compassion. Sometimes it's setting a boundary. And sometimes it's accepting that you won't please everybody — and that's okay.

What's For Dinner?

Lynne outsources this weeks' recipe to Mary Berry and brings us her Irish Stew. Perfect for fall, it's made with beef, onions, carrots, potatoes, and broth, it's an economical one-pot meal that slowly braises into something tender and flavorful. Serve it with some bread and a side salad, and you've got an easy dinner for the family.

Nancy also shares her homemade apple strudel after a recent apple-picking adventure. Kathy, meanwhile, remains firmly unconvinced about cooked apples. Some differences of opinion are apparently harder to

Fishes Out...

This episode is a reminder that we can be thoughtful, compassionate people without abandoning ourselves in the process. We can disagree without judging, say no without being cruel, and care about other people's feelings without making ourselves responsible for all of them.

We're all works in progress, and maybe the best place to start is with our own actions: lead by example, hold on to your principles, and give people a little grace along the way.

So, Fishies, we'd love to hear from you: Do you find it difficult to speak up for yourself, or have you gotten better at setting boundaries as you've gotten older?

Listen to this week's episode, then follow, rate, and review Three Lil Fishes. And if you know a fellow fish who needs this conversation, send it her way!